What awaits us

The very lovely website says "The Burford experience starts when you arrive. The stunning Cotswold property welcomes you with its lush green fairways that weave their way through mature trees." The Home page also has a banner "where would you rather be". We shall find out and decide on the day.

Last year at Bowood the long grass chuckled as it swallowed golf balls by the dozen This year I suspect the trees will be chortling as we wander aimlessly looking for our ball before playing another game of tree pinball. So once again a golf course has been selected that suggests it is far too difficult some of us and I for one suspect I will enjoy more weaving than recommended or  necessary and a little less enjoyment of the lush bit of the course. But it does look very beautiful and personally I am reconciled to once again enjoying the talking part in the event while acknowledging that playing twice a year really is insufficient to compete with full time golfers, whether they are lolling about on exotic islands or swanning about in the Cornish Riviera.

So, Who's Playing

Who's playing? Everyone apparently. It's a huge field, or to quote Trump "it's a great big beautiful field ... very bigly .. the bigliest ever", mainly as a result of an invasion of Bermudians. 

The usual suspects:

• Neil - the holder, but currently haunted by injury, the odds of a repeat are getting longer. Good each way bet, but it's not his "big" birthday this year so, while we'll manage sympathy for injuries, it might not be a "popular" victory if he wins. 
• Ally - always a favourite in the run up to the day, during the day and right up to the time the scores are announced.  However, given we are playing on a narrow strip of lush fairway weaving through a forest, straight driving could be the key to a good result.
• Jack - Wally shot holder. The swish and sonic boom thwack of his driving is legendary. Fearless golf some would say. Daft others would say. How he copes with  tree weaving will govern success or failure.
• Sam - Impossible to repeat lasts years "difficult round" and excursions into the deep grass, but trees should be equally interesting. However he hasn't hit a bad shot since last year, principally through having not played golf at all. If he discovers how too hit "too straight" again, who knows. 
• Rick - Becoming a member of a golf club is apparently not the key to success. Apparently you have to play golf as well.  So having played once last year, he resigned from the club and has played one game less this year. All excuses are therefore intact and success will depend on handicap negotiations.
• Jess - Second last year and wanted to finish after 9 holes, such was her enthusiasm for the yawn fest that is golf. Talent is not a common feature in the Grimbleford arena, so it's difficult for some of us to assess its value. Seems to work though, so if she can keep entertained, she's in with a real chance.
• Enty - Good to see such loyalty to the Grimbleford, particularly as considering the rules we made up, you have a better chance of winning the British Open. Enty has everything in terms of golf talent and skill and a s result has next to nothing in terms of a handicap, a number so close to zero, the rest of us would have used it after our first shot. The only number smaller than his handicap is his chance of winning, which as the competition rules haven't changed, is actually zero. I know this joke is getting old, but I continue to hope a potential moral victory is worthy motivation.

The Unusual Suspects:

• Emma - Welcome and long overdue addition to the competition. Rumour has it that Emma has been practising hard which seems pretty much illegal to me. There may be calls for a severe handicap penalty as a result, plus the usual drug and alcohol check that all new members are subject to. I'm sure we are all looking forward to the initiation ceremony by the first water hazard.
• Noah - an equally warm welcome to Noah, who probably has no idea what he will be faced with in terms of sledging and the innovative new and old rules we will impose if he looks like winning.  D&A testing, initiation etc. pretty similar to Emma with the addition of the traditional 17th hole three legged hop challenge.

GOOD LUCK EVERYONE