Grimbleford 2026 - The Big "Five Oh"

A Bermudiful Event at the Five Forts Golf Club

Whether it would be through lady luck or madam destiny, the 50th playing of the Grimbleford had to be something special and I think it's fair to say that "special" is a rather understated description of the events that unfolded.

Unashamedly piggy-backing the Wedding of Jack and Jess, a family horde descended on Bermuda for party time nicely paired with a very appropriate Grimbleford to be played on a very becoming course.

The facts and figures speak for them selves:

So, what of other groups, golfing highlights or otherwise. Frankly, as noted previously, the writer knows very little, so the following are snippets of hearsay, loose statistics and partial fabrication, highlighting the special nature of the event. Some of these would have delighted founder Geoff Higson and others would probably have shocked him to the core as somewhat unorthodox and just not cricket .. or golf.

• The most alcohol drunk before, during and probably after any Grimbleford.
• The most joints smoked during any Grimbleford. Previous record was zero, so the six by a single lady player, Jack's head of department, absolutely smashed it. Very impressive and I'm sure she was a bundle of laughs during the round.
• The most music played during the golf, piped from buggy mounted ghetto blasters. Not something for the purists, but we must move with the times and I know Sam really enjoyed it.
• The only Grimbleford ever to include a legal Mulligan, as decreed by the master of ceremonies Jack. Free shot on the 18th  tee, a drive over the sea .. what's not to like? Certainly appreciated by yours truly as I impaled the first shot downwards into a bank. Sam liked it as well, I suspect even more than the music, as his first shot sailed in the the water.
• A biblical rainstorm causing a great deal of hunkering and a subsequent traffic jam on the 18th hole, but closing out the golf tournament with a bang.

The after party gathering at Achilles bar certainly exceeded expectations. Fabulous setting, great buffet and unbelievable bar prices that should have included the glass, beer mat and golf club membership. The chat amongst those who didn't have hangovers or withdrawal symptoms from substance abuse and who recalled that we'd played golf, revolved around who might have won. As Jess made it clear, this would not have been in doubt if she had played and inevitably won, but she didn't partake and the rest of us second string players were in with a shout. In reality however some second strings snapped or at minimum frayed early on, probably before the golf during the first cocktail. So out go Emma and Noah which was fine because Emma achieved her goal of beating Noah again. Sam, I was reliably informed, played OK, but my guess is that he wasn't "too straight" on occasions and was too busy grooving to the music. As we played together, I feel sure that I can report with confidence on Neil's round, because I watched his every shot and I'm equally sure about my round, because I am me. I knew that Neil faded in the second half and his golf was unlikely to meet his aim of yet another "popular" victory, which was good because on this occasion it wouldn't have been the popular victory the ground swell of opinion desired. As for yours truly, I won my own personal battle just by playing with the same ball for 17 holes. 

So we were down to Ally and Jack. Steady and straight versus whatever the opposites of steady and straight are. A brief chat with Jack and it became clear he was confident and felt he held all the cards. In the event he was confident possibly because he really did hold all the card and knew all the scores. And so would the victory we all hoped to see come to fruition and finally deliver a very popular victory or had Jack counted wrong.

The Winners

As oft repeated, everyone was a winner on a great day on lovely course. Equally however, everyone couldn't be a winner as there can only be one champion despite countless "if onlys".

Before declaring and crowning the winner, Neil made a speech reflecting on the day and noting how proud Geoff Higson would have been to know that the Grimbleford had reached its fiftieth event and in such style. We'll never know how he would have responded to the inclusion of music, mulligans, wall to wall drinking and canabis, but I choose to imagine him holding a pint in his right hand, a spliff in his left hand, boogying to the music on the 18th green having driven into the sea and used his free shot.

Putting that to one side however, Jack then presented prizes to the full group of golfers with the best scores, nearest the pin and longest drive. As expected none of the prizes went to the eligible Grimbleford family players, fully justifying the reasons we don't allow others to win our trophy. And then for the crowning:

• Grimbleford Champion 2026 - congratulations to Jack. The best and a truly appropriate result.
• Wally shot - Noah Absolutely no evidence to support this award, but given that no score was returned, I feel on sound ground in assuming there were plenty of shots played that could have been contenders.
• Statement of the year - Emma  "I don't think I'll do very well as I usually only play social golf and there probably won't be enough beers".
• Likely true, but unprovable statement of the year - Honourable mention for Jess for "If I'd played I'd have won".
• Incorrect prediction of the year - Neil from last year "with a few more games Emma will win the trophy most years in the near future". Little did he know of her social golf ambitions.

Thank you to Jack for organising a fantastic and memorable event. It was a privilege to play. I'd love to say we'll all be back soon, but there are some of us who only have so many years left to save up and frankly herding this many sheep into one place is not getting any easier.

*Rick destroyed Neil on the back nine and invoked rule 8, because he could and because no one else knows how to use the website and change this